In the marriage relationship, the attitudes that spouses convey towards each other can be powerful, especially when it comes to sex. And while our desire as men is often to try igniting passion into our relationship, the main goal no matter what should be how to love your wife well. Because the way a husband carries himself with his wife sexually can be crucial to her feelings of love and self-worth. And our wives should always feel loved and appreciated, never used.
Here are 5 ways a husband can make his wife feel about sex, that can have a huge impact on her, for either the good or the bad.
A husband has the power and ability to make his wife feel:
Remember how you wanted to treat your wife on your honeymoon? The soft kisses on the forehead, the polite manners at the table, and the intentional intimacy and physical touch you cultivated between the two of you throughout each day? And then the closing climax of full sexual intimacy at night? You were on your best behavior because your aim was to please. And this made your wife feel cherished. Many of those same things still make her feel cherished today. Are you doing them?
Nowhere other than the marriage relationship does God give permission for such full exposure and transparency. A husband needs to express how beautiful his wife is both inside and out on a regular basis. And it’s not just enough for him to say it, she needs to believe it, both when she is clothed and when she is not.
Most wives sincerely desire to be sufficient sexually for their husbands, but oftentimes men fail to clearly express to their wife that she is everything they need and want. Men, our wives need to know that they are sufficient to meet our every sexual need, and we need to tell her that. Yes, as men, our drive is often higher than hers, which can lead to some natural tension, but we also need to remember that while sex meets primarily a physical need for us, it often meets more of an emotional need for her. While sex is more about the act for us, for her, it’s more about how we treat her beyond just the act, both before and after.
Sometimes, without even realizing it, a husband can give the wrong vibes to his wife as well. Like when he brings unrealistic expectations into the marriage and treats sex like something he’s owed. This can quickly cause his wife to feel objectified, rather than cherished. Just as a husband longs for his wife to know and understand his needs and desires, it is equally important that he is seeking to do the same for her.
While no husband should ever abuse his wife in any way, it sadly happens. One of the ways that as men we can make sure to avoid it ever happening through us is to remember that our wife is not a sexual servant for us to make demands of. Sex is a beautiful and consensual gift that should be treated as such. And physical touch within a marriage should often be sexual, but never forceful. Our wives have been given to us to love, cherish, and make them the happiest women in the world. The way we treat her verbally, physically, and sexually plays a huge role in that.